Background

MOTHERHOOD

“My children, for whom I do this work, if not gladly, then without regret. My children, who make it possible for me to bitch tirelessly about motherhood while still feeling, deeply, to the very tips of my toes and possibly even further, that this motherhood thing is the most beautiful – the most hazily, gauzily, barefoot-in-a-field-of-daisies romantic – thing in the world. And if I’m clutching a bottle of tequila and an Ativan prescription while spinning through that field of daisies... well, as I said: it’s complicated. Wonderfully, terribly, delightfully so.”

Catherine Connors, Her Bad Mother

What if motherhood could be framed as a valuable site for artistic exploration rather than an invisible and trivial labour? I don’t mean the aboutness of motherhood, I mean the work of motherhood. The interrupted and fragmented quality of action and thought, the unconditional love and care, the repetition and the ritual, the layered existence, the mind touching several linguistic places at the same time; the diligence. The exhaustion and the reaching of one’s own limits, hence the continuous stretching of range and motion; the incessant change. The infinite layers and textures of an experience of such complexity where our happiness is fueled and afforded by our fear and our exhaustion and vice versa. I am well aware that the roads I have travelled wouldn’t have been possible if I haven’t become a single mother, yet being a single mother has transform my journey into a deeply complex and intricate adventure. The motherhood condition has been the inception and site of origin of my artistic research since 2012.

IMPROVISATION

Improvisation is the  heart  of  my  ongoing creative  research. It is not the only mode I turn to for generating or accesing, and I´m working hard towards succesfully cultivating a “no longer aknowledging”  a difference between improvisation and it´s conventional “opposite”: set choreography. But open space/ open score movement improvisation as a practice is the core of my spiritual and artistic pursuits. 

 

I attempt to conceive and understand improvisation as a complex social phenomenon that mediates interdisciplinary and cross-cultural exchanges that produce new conceptions of identity, community and body. And simply, as a contemplative practice of conscious interaction  with  the  world.  As  a  field  of  everything.  Where  everything  is possible.  Where  through  indagatory  and  successive  endless  choice,  action  and  renounce  we can reach  an  epiphanic  state  in  which  the  essential  joy  of  being  alive  and  the  true  non  dualistic nature  of  the  mind  becomes  actualized  potential. A  state  where  the  concrete  and  the  elusive converge,  and  what  we  don’t  know  becomes  familiar,  becomes  possibility  and  intuition.  No separation  between  impression  and  expression.  Through  improvisation  I  have  come  to completely trust the body and it’s epistemic nature; and I have come to know, to really know, in the way that you can only know through embodied experience, that reality is layered, that there are a lot of ways of being in the world. This is a virtuosic realization.

  “I suggest that improvisation can be defined as an act of reaching an ideal state, in which impression (sensorial, physical, corporal) can immediately become expression (symbolic and artistic), so that (utopically) there is no separation between what is seen and what is painted, what is said and what is written, what rumbles and what is heard.” 

 

“Writing by Ear”: Clarice Lispector, Machado de Assis, and Guimarães Rosa and the Mimesis of Improvisation Marília Librandi-Rocha. Translated by Camille SuttonA 

DZOGCHEN BUDDHISM

“Meanwhile, atop the naked table, the screaming slice of red watermelon. I am grateful to my eyes that are still so frightened. I shall yet see many things. To be honest, even without watermelon, a naked table is also a sight to see.”

Clarice Lispector

“This dualistic structure, together with the disturbing emotions are the forces that drive us from one samsaric experience to another. Yet all the while , there is still the basic nature , which is not made out of anything whatsoever. It is totally unconstructed and empty, and at the same time it is aware it has the quality of being able to cognize. It is a naked experience. This indivisible unity of being empty and cognizant is our original ground that is never lost”.

The Flight of The Garuda by Shabkar Tsokdrug Rangdrol

My mother has been a serious buddhist practitioner for more than twenty years. Buddhism is a direct influence in my work. Particularly it’s notion of emptiness as absence of intrinsic nature, and the practice of open awareness meditation that calls for direct, uncategorized experience.